February 2012
35 posts
Down and Up Day
The day started kinda shitty. I was emailing back and forth with the owner of Stand Up Scottsdale about getting me on some guest spots or features for some weekend shows he has coming up. I saw that Kyle Kinane was coming and I wanted on that show bad. He’s one of my favorites. The owner told he that he brings a high level of comedy every weekend and that my material is just not there. Also,...
Feb 23rd
18 notes
Feb 23rd
3 notes
Feb 23rd
17 notes
Feb 21st
8 notes
Feb 21st
9 notes
Older people love my car.
Feb 19th
4 notes
Feb 19th
128 notes
Feb 18th
11 notes
IHOP
So last night I was up in Phoenix doing Sam Tripoli’s “Naughty Show” (NAME DROP!) and comedian @joekingispretty and I decided to grab some pancakes at IHOP after the show. Where any shit dick can get a stack of pancakes. So Joe gets to talking to the waiter, a black dude named Drew, and Joe starts asking him about working the graveyard shift. He asks “What’s the...
Feb 17th
9 notes
HERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN'T UNDERSTSAAAAAND!
HOW I COULD JUST GRILL A HAM!
Feb 17th
12 notes
My mind is blown
4 hours ago, I was picking up my 11 month old daughter from my mom’s. My mom was putting a shirt on her with Elmo on it. My mom asks Lucy, “Where’s Elmo?” and my mom points to Lucy’s shirt showing her that Elmo is on the shirt. Cut to now, I randomly ask Lucy “Where’s Elmo?” Then, she tugs on her shirt looking down at Elmo. I’m pretty sure...
Feb 16th
21 notes
Feb 15th
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Feb 15th
35 notes
Feb 15th
49 notes
Feb 15th
14 notes
2 tags
Feb 14th
25 notes
Feb 14th
17 notes
Feb 13th
22 notes
Feb 12th
41 notes
Feb 11th
3 notes
Feb 11th
14 notes
Job
I work at the internet.
Feb 10th
10 notes
Feb 10th
156 notes
1 tag
"Gimme The Loot" by Notorious BIG (Translated by... →
Here’s my bar-for-bar translation of Notorious B.I.G.’s “Gimme The Loot.” Please read it, reblog it, mark it “Funny” and love it! BIOTCH!
Feb 10th
10 notes
Feb 9th
17 notes
Feb 7th
3,591 notes
Holy shit
Make one Bon Iver joke and everyone jumps on your shit. I should’ve known better.
Feb 7th
9 notes
Feb 7th
19 notes
Feb 7th
5 notes
Feb 7th
17 notes
Feb 6th
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Feb 5th
36 notes
Feb 3rd
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Feb 2nd
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Feb 2nd
6 notes
Feb 1st
36 notes
Feb 1st
368 notes
January 2012
57 posts
Just in case....
Don’t want to look like the “new guy” at your next Furry orgy, here’s a key of words you can use!   http://captainpackrat.com/furry/furry3.htm
Jan 31st
Jan 29th
17 notes
Jan 29th
26 notes
Jan 29th
6 notes
http://say.ly/ddg1kyJ →
Friends don’t let friends… View more on WhoSay »
Jan 29th
2 notes
Anonymous asked: Show us your areolas!
Jan 29th
2 notes
Jan 29th
23 notes
Anonymous asked: How do I get out of a "friend zone" with this girl that I like?
Jan 29th
19 notes
Jan 28th
4 notes
Jan 28th
49,370 notes
MURK AVENUE: I FOUND ICE CUBES 'GOOD DAY' →
murkavenue: CLUE 1: “went to short dogs house, they was watching Yo MTV RAPS” Yo MTV RAPS first aired: Aug 6th 1988 CLUE 2: Ice Cubes single “today was a good day” released on: Feb 23 1993 CLUE 3: ”The Lakers beat the Super Sonics” Dates between Yo MTV Raps air date AUGUST 6 1988 and the release…
Jan 28th
9,521 notes
Jan 28th
14 notes
Jan 27th
32 notes